Heard…

By Joanna Billigmeier | April 20, 2019 |

Ok, I will play dinosaurs with you. ~ M, to P
Yay! I’m an ankylosaurus! NO! A pachycephhlosaurus! Why is it so hard to choose! ~ P

There were so many meat eaters in the jurassic. If I was a raptor, I would stalk my prey, then grab them by the neck, and take them down and eat them. ~ P. I know. She’s frightening.
Hmm. All this talk of killing and eating is making me hungry. ~ M

All right. I’m about to cause some chaos up in here, man. ~ J. For real.

Ahh! Mommy, you’re loving me too much. You’re squishing my lovely poofy cheeks. ~ P

I can dress up like I’m 100 years old tomorrow! ~ Jackson, for the 100th day of school.
What can I wear? ~ Jackson
Hmmm. Well, let’s think about what a person who is 100 might wear. ~ me
I know. You could wear a button shirt and glasses…oh! Wait! You are already 100! ~ Paisley

Look out the window…the earth is so cool right now. ~J, flying home from China

I thought there were going to be big piles of snow in DC today, but to my surprise there is not much at all. ~ J, on the way to the hospital for appointments

Oh! We’re picking up some speeds! ~ J, after being stuck in traffic

I’m basically freaking out. ~ M
Why are you freaking out? ~Me
I don’t have Summer school this year??? HOW WILL I GET AHEAD?! ~ M.

You might think I’m cute, but I’m vicious. ~ P. Truth.
Me too. ~ M
I can be really dangerous. ~ P
Umm. Yeah. Me too. ~ M

Career day was so nice this year. I already have a nice long list of careers. I know what my college career will look like, so I just sat back and enjoyed the day. ~ M. Ummm. weirdo.

Mommy, I heard today that it is going to be Spring! The groundhog decided it, and remember we met that groundhog in Pennsylvania? I think he’s pretty reliable… ~ P

Are you working your grandma too much? ~ me
No! I’m just using her! ~ P, making the grandma do her chores.
You can’t make her do all your work. Those are your jobs. ~ me
But she likes it! I’m just trying to make her happy! ~ P. Well, with that logic…

How does she do for blood draws? ~ IV tech in the ER during one of P’s visits.
I’m six. You may talk to me, I do fine. ~ P
You’re not going to fight me? ~ IV tech
I said I’m six ~ P

Ugh, I really want to be admitted to the hospital, and go to HKU (heart and kidney unit), but I could also really go for some Mcdonalds right now, you know? ~ P, in the ER to the nurse.

Wow. You’re really trying to tell me something. ~ P, to baby F

You’re so cute, but I have no idea what you are saying! ~ P, to baby F

I am the bravest… and the strongest. ~ P
Well, I am stronger than you! ~ J
You always say that! But I know my truth…~ P, with clenched fists, and narrowed eyes.

Well. If I was a witch, I would magically go to grandma and grandpa’s house every other weekend.
~P
That’s good thinking! That would be an excellent use of witchcraft! ~ M

Do you like unicorns? ~ ER nurse, looking at Paisley’s unicorn shoes.
Of course. Who doesn’t? ~ P

Who made this show? It’s terrible. ~ P, watching Nickelodeon at the hospital
I’m not sure. It’s supposed to be funny though. ~ nurse at the hospital
It’s not. Nobody acts like that in real life. ~ P
Yes. Well, it’s just make believe. ~ nurse
It’s nonsense. Let’s turn it off. ~ P
Ummm, ok, well. yes. I guess it is. ~ nurse
*I think she’s the first kid to ever hate Nickelodeon. ~ nurse, whispering to me.

I’m going to hang out in my room for a little while. I just don’t feel ready to be nice to everyone yet this morning. ~ P

Did you take the scissors? ~ P to J
No. You probably just didn’t put them back where they go. ~ J
Hmmm. That does sound like something I would do… ~P