I’m practically a grown up. ~ M
I know, pretty soon you’ll want your own car. ~ me
Umm, no. I don’t need a car yet. I’m not of age. ~ M

It’s hard to be a fifth grader. Maybe I should walk home. Everything is so embarrassing. ~ M
She means me…everything I do is embarrassing, haha.

You better be careful on those stairs, or you could fall and break your neck. ~ M
How do you break your neck? ~ J
There’s a lot of ways, but most of them involve having your plans go terribly wrong while you are playing. ~ M

Look outside. See that man mowing our yard? He is very handsome. ~P
Oh, yes he is pretty handsome.  It’s his hair, and his shirt, and his face. ~ J
Yes. And his pants. ~ P
And his glasses. ~ J. Two weirdos…

Did you have a bad dream? What woke you up? ~ me, moving P to our room in the middle of the night.
I heard some nocturnal creatures! ~ P

Uh oh! I think I’m starving! ~ P, on the way to dinner

Ugh, you’re annoying. I’m about to use my magic wand on you! ~P, to a fly outside.

Help!! Help! My tent is falling over diagonally! ~ P, building a fort

Why are you stomping? ~ J
Those ants were fighting. So I killed them. ~ P
You killed them? ~ J
Yep. If you can’t get along, everyone dies. ~ P. Well, then…

Maybe I can help. Talk to me and pretend I’m Alexa. ~ P, after I couldn’t get Alexa to play a song.
Ok…Alexa! ~ me
Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t seem to find what you’re looking for. Try asking for something else ~ P, in a robot voice.

Do you guys want me to tell you some things? ~P
No, that’s ok. ~M 
You will learn a lot…~ P
No thanks. ~ M
Well. I have a smart brain. A very smart brain, and you would be lucky to hear the things in my brain! ~P

Why are you eating so healthy? ~ M
I’m trying to be healthy, and maybe lose a little weight. ~me
Oh. Well, look at the bright side. If you weigh more, you’ll be harder to kidnap! ~ M. What??

When I’m a grownup, I’m going to eat noodles everyday. They spark me some joy. ~ P
Oh. I’m going to have lots of babies. From China. Babies spark me joy. ~ J

If you do what I want, I’ll give you hugs and kisses…~ P
I don’t want that, though. ~ J
Oh, come on. You know you want some if this! ~ P, sitting on him, and hugging him.

You sound flusterated. Are you flusterated? ~ P to J
I think so…I don’t know what that is. ~J

It’s the middle of the night. Close your eyes, and go to sleep. ~ me, after P was awake for a while.
Can I tell you something? I’m not a big fan of closing my eyes. ~ P

I learned about thick and thin at school today. ~ P
J is thin. ~ P
What is M? ~ me
Thick, I think. ~ P
What are you? ~ me
Umm. I’m poofy! ~ P

There’s a football player here today! We have to get a picture, mommy! ~ P. at the hospital.
Do you like the redskins? ~ Santana Moss, taking a picture with P
Sometimes…when they win! ~ P
Daddy likes the redskins. ~ P
But. Mommy likes the Cowboys. ~ P
Ohh! Well, we really try to love everyone. Even if they’re wrong. ~ SM.

But I want to stay up late…~ P
But you are going to bed. ~ me
But I’m not tired! ~ P
It’s not about how tired you are, it’s about how tired you are making me. ~ me. Truth.

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