When we got home with little M we were on extreme lockdown mode…we were definitely trying to hibernate a bit with our new family, keeping our world very small to promote bonding and attachment…but our girl was also very sick. She was about to have surgery, so we went above and beyond in withdrawing from EVERYTHING to keep her from getting sick before surgery, and even after, to keep her well.
Our boy is, as far as we know, much healthier than our little M was. We are definitely planning to keep his world small for a bit, and will hunker down for a while when we get home, but we don’t have to be so stringent about keeping his environment germ free, you know?
Everything we do with our boy when we get home will be to promote a healthy attachment…healthy attachments equal healthy kids and adults. The husband and I will care for all his needs, feeding, holding, carrying, comforting, dressing, etc…we will even give him a bottle for a while to let him regress, and to give him a time cuddling with his mommy and daddy.
Many have asked about what our “rules” will be when we get home, as far as what we would like others to do. Our basic guidelines are…please do not give our child food, and please do not pick him up. Please do interact with him, smile at him, play with him, and enjoy him!
There are so many great, well-written blog posts about understanding and supporting the adoptive family, and how to treat newly adopted children…
I could write my own, but I’m not going to. Instead I will share some of the posts other people have written, because they say it better than I could anyways!
Sara at I Am Not Supermom has ten things she would like you to know about adoption
Jen Hatmaker has this insightful post about what happens after the airport
Ashlee, at The Kitchen Is Not My Office, has a great post about supporting and understanding the adoptive family
Zoe St Paul at SlowMama has some good ideas on what to do when you meet newly adopted children