This was the first time that baby J has been really sick since we have had him. So now we know what he looks like when he is a little sick…and we will know what he looks like when he is more than a little sick.
Little M has been home for almost three years, and I know her. I know when she is nervous, happy, sad, confused, excited, and hurt. I know what her cries mean, and I know what she looks like when she is tired. I know when she needs more cuddles, and when she needs to do something on her own. We have a deep bond, and I feel like I am in tune with her emotions. After three years, I know my little girl…
We are still getting to know baby J. It has only been three months, and we fall a little more in love with each passing day. But we still look at each other whenever baby J makes a new face, to see if the other one knows what this new expression means. Is he sad? Is he upset? Is this grieving?
In another three months, we will know baby J twice as well, and with each month that goes by, I will learn to know what each facial expression means, and I will know what he needs, and what he is feeling, and what his cries mean.
Three months ago, I didn’t know my son at all…now, three months home, I am getting to know my son.
I know how he smiles when I sing his favorite songs, I know how he gets a little excited every time we eat, I know how he loves food, and I know what he loves to eat. I know when he really needs me, and when he is just saying my name. I know he has an ornery streak, and he loves to antagonize little M when I’m not looking.
I am getting to know what he looks like when he is tired, and sad, and mad. I am learning what excited looks like, and what he does when he is disappointed…
I am getting to know my son.
And I love what I have learned so far.